Why should I teach people to do miracles!?
The Power to do Miracles should be granted, not received by teaching.

If you can be Loving, Silent and Tender, you will do all the miracles that people need.

Love to All!
Truden

When the life is putting someone on the trail of the Work, all the proofs and explanations are given in advance in a very clear way.
One must not meet the miracle unprepared.
Therefore he/she must know what illusion is, what self-hypnosis is, what dead and life are…

I was about twenty seven years young man when I showed some interest in the hypnosis.
A small book appeared in my library from somewhere and the title “The Hypnosis” was that much hypnotizing that one day I opened the book and few ours later I finished reading it.
The explanations in the book ware so well put, that I could not resist trying some of the stuff…
My son was about four years old boy, but his thinking and understanding was indescribably advanced (and still is)
One day he came to me and told me that some times he has some strange feeling of fear wave. He knew that there is no reason for the fear but still could not get rid of it.

Then I decided to try the hypnosis.
I asked him to lie on the bed, and I just did one of the hypnosis techniques from the book.
I knew that it is dangerous to do it, but I was so confident in myself that nothing could stop me doing it.
And I did it.
Since then my son never had that “fear wave”.
That was my first and last time to use hypnosis.
But it made me to know the difference between intentionally done (by my own will), fully dependant on me action, and internally expressed will which is dependant on my Faith in God on whom I’m dependant.

Self hypnosis is easy, and most of the people are living under it.

Hallucination, Dead, Life… All that I had as a lesson in one long (in time) trip from Germany to Bulgaria.

I went to Germany to buy second hand car and sell it in Bulgaria for profit.
Three weeks I could not find decent car.
It was Friday – one day before my visa expiration.
A man came to visit the family (also Bulgarians) where I was staying.
I don’t speak German but somehow we started conversation and he asked me what I am doing in Germany.
I told him and expressed my disappointment that I could not find car.
With all the funny misunderstandings and hand signs he took me to his beautiful BMW and asked me whether I like it.
Oh, that was my dream…
“You can have it for 2000 DM” – he said and that almost made me sit on the ground…
But the transfer papers could not be done before Monday, and to stay with expired visa in Germany is not recommended.
It could become your last entry in this country.
I had no other choice.
Monday I arrived on the border with the son of the family that I was visiting.
The young man came to help me if I have problem with the frontier officers.
Of course I had…
My friend explained that I had problem fixing the papers for the car, but that wasn’t an excuse.
The officer turned to me and asked me in Russian language how much money I have.
I was prepared for such a question and in my right-hand pocket I had some small amount of money. The rest was in my left-hand pocket.
So I put my hand in my pocket and suddenly I found myself with both my hands stretched, holding all my money.
I was surprised by myself and so were my friend and the officer…
The officer looked in my eyes and I saw how he changed his decision.
He put all the money between us and asked me how much petrol I have in the car tank. It was full. He calculated how much money I will need for petrol to arrive home, and put them in front of me.
Then he put money for hotel, for food, for custom taxes, for presents for my wife and children (he asked me how many I have), and at the end of the calculation there was about 150 DM left. The fine was 250 DM or 20 days (I’m not sure about the days) prison.
The officer wrote a fine thicket for 150 DM and let me go.
I have heard many stories about German’s coldness but that man made me feel so warm and secure in his presence, that since then “German” for me sounds like “good”, “honest”, “gentleman”, “respect”, “value”, “Love”.

And then my adventure started…

In Hungary a big truck hit the BMW at the back, it flew some twenty meters and landed almost in the middle of the intersection.
The police was behind the truck and the immediate alcohol check of the driver was positive.
When the police came to me, they were surprised that I wasn’t injured and the BMW was in absolute good condition without any damages (the truck was more damaged than the car…)
I had to stay in the town for more than five hours and give testaments about the incident.
Then I had to drive in Rumania during the night through all their mountains, which roads are not the best thing to experience.
I got to the border with Serbia to find out that they wouldn’t let me go through without visa. I had to take the other way and drive some few hundred kilometers on the worst roads I have ever seen.
One of them was like after bombing…
The BMW started to have some strange sound on the right-hand front wheel.
I looked at the road in front of me and it was straight and log without any car on it.
I was dodging around the wholes with no avail – the best I could do is to choose the smallest whole.
The sound on the right-hand wheel was disturbing me.
I bend on the right to hear it better.
Then I bend a little more, and again until I was lying on the passenger front sit.
I kept trying to find out what exactly is that noise, and in one moment I realized that the car is not bumping in to the wholes. It was driving smoothly like it was floating in the air. In the next moment I heard car hooting and I took normal driving position. The moment I put my eyes on the road the bumping returned.
I looked at the back mirror to find out that few cars already have passed by me…
I started to laugh imagining the faces of the drivers when they met car without driver in it.

I was tired. I was very tired…
I was driving without sleep and rest for more than fifty hours.
OK, it wasn’t driving all the time, but I had to wait and give testaments in Hungary, then I had to wait on the border on a long queue, then wait on the Serbian border to tell me that I can not pass, then drive few hundred kilometers more, and to end on a few kilometers long queue on the Bulgarian border…
Few more hours and I was breathing Bulgarian air.
It was after midnight and I was so tired that I started to talk to myself trying to stay awake. It worked.
So I was talking and even singing to myself and driving in the night.
From time to time I would open the window and take my head out in the freeze air.

Slightly I started to realize that there is something strange in my perception of the landscape. I knew it very well, but it was looking different to me.
I tried to understand what the difference is but I could not find any explanation.
It was the same landscape, yet it was different.
Suddenly a tree appeared right in front of me in the middle of the road, growing fast like in animation movie.
I put my foot on the brakes and stopped.
My mind was laughing at me:
“Why do you stop, stupid monkey? How could you believe that there is tree on the middle of the road?”
Of course there wasn’t tree…
It was hallucination, and I knew it, but my instincts did not want to trust my mind.
After few more kilometers another tree wanted to do the same trick, but that time I could stop the growing and didn’t even brake… to much
Then I went in to road where there were walnut trees on side of the road, and another terrible hallucination came: the trees started to stretch their branches to me like hands that want to grab me.
Although I knew that it is another hallucination the feeling wasn’t pleasant…
Then suddenly I pulled left across the middle road line and stopped on a small wide place on the other side of the road.
The lights on my town were about two kilometers in front of me, but I could not drive more.
I decided to have some sleep.
I was on the end of my strength.

I pulled back the sit and made it comfortable to lie.
I closed my eyes and I saw my face…
Yes I was looking at my face.
I could see it; tired, dirty with no blood in it, almost yellow face.
I could not see life in my face.
It was face of a dead man.
Then I started to get away from it, went trough the car sealing, and slowly started to go up.
I could still see myself trough the top of the car, lying on the sit.
It was so freeing feeling…
I knew that I’m leaving my body and I’m going somewhere…
Where? – I did not know.
I knew that the body in the car is mine, but already dead, and that wasn’t big deal… until something made me fill that I’m still not ready to do it.
I don’t know how to explain that feeling of “not ready”, and may be the closest explanation is “Unfinished business”.
That thought produced something like vacuum, which almost with the speed of the light sucked me back in to my body.
I opened my eyes, and only then I felt a little scared.
Then I started to think of flowers.
I said to myself “snowdrop” and I imagined the flower, then another flower, then another, until I fell asleep.
Two hours later I waked up and went home.

Although that BMW was one of the best cars on the second hand car market in my town, I could not sell it until I decided to leave Bulgaria and go to South Africa.

Don’t even think that you could profit from your miracles.
The profit is for the weak and the poor.
The profit is for the greedy and for the voluptuous.
You need nothing.
If you needed something else you wouldn’t reach the miracle.

If you can make miracles you are Rich.
The more you give from your wealth the richer you become.
Yet, it must not be striving.
It must be your essence.
Your eyes must not see the alms in your hand.

Try to stay silent and tender.

One night in my brother’s place, I had meditation which took me to the “place” of the Thing which Is, but which does not know anything except its existence.

That is the answer of thousands and thousands… and thousands of years Eastern deception about The Thing, which they call That.

Let me start with the meditation…

Normally my meditations are not long.
The true meditative state for me is between ten seconds to not more than two minutes.
That is the period in which I am not myself, but the One That I Am.
Sometimes it is me, but talking with the One That I Am.

In few of my earlier meditations I could feel that I’m left alone in a “space” where nothing exists. It is not really space, but rather I (me) left without observing knowledge. Not that there is something to observe…
The observation is not in the objects out of you, but in the thoughts which are judging (perceiving) the objects.
Well…, in the meditation I don’t have thoughts, but deep in my subconscious there is knowledge about the moment.

In that meditation it was different.
I went out of the world, and ended up in NOTHING.
Even knowledge doesn’t exist “there”.
The only existing thing is me, whose knowledge is lowered down to “I exist”.
There is nothing to wave, to move, to differ.
In Difference Knowledge is born.
Therefore, I was without Knowledge.
I was clear me.
No movement = no difference = no time
I lost the thoughts, I lost the time, I lost the world, I lost everything and I was left only with my feeling of existence.

I wouldn’t know how long (in universal time) I was like that if I did not here: “He is (here) like that, more than 120 minutes”

Few seconds later I was back in the bed, but… I did not know who I am…
I was lying in the bed trying to remember who I am.
It was strange feeling… until my name came in my thoughts: “I am Nikolay!”

Some of my meditations I take as given answers, some of them I don’t consider as important, although all of them are important.

This particular meditation I did not put in the important ones, but later I understood why it was given to me.

I don’t try to understand with my knowledge nothing from the life that goes trough me .
I already know that the knowledge of the others is not mine, and I MUST NOT take it by word.
Not that I don’t trust people – on the contrary: I am man with great trust in the people, but other’s people feelings are not mine, therefore I must put my tooth in the fruit.

Many Searchers had the same meditation that I shared with you.
Many, many, many… many years ago someone said something about this meditation, and dibbled whole for weed.
Since then the East is sending its “enlightened” people in the Thing that knows nothing about Birth and Life.
And the West is left alone in the battle with the ignorance.

The Absolute is not God.
God Knows Him Self.
He knows that He is One thing which contains two natures in itself – Body (Universe) and Conscious (Spirit).

The Consciousness is not any better, if it does not know the existence of the Universe.
Consciousness is not knowledge about the self, but the “place” where the Knowledge “I Am” is born.
(The “consciousness” word is not the right explanation about it. It is Being… More close is to explain it as unconscious mind, which can feel its existence.)
It is The Thing that gives Life, but knows nothing about birth and life.
It is Source – the spring that does not know about the river.

In other words: One is not God, if he knows about his existence, without knowing his essence.
Only God Knows Him Self.
God Knows Him Self not as EXISTANCE but as Essence.

The material “knowledge” is not any different than the existence, which That Thing has as “knowledge”
The matter knows its existence ONLY.
That Thing knows its existence ONLY.
In fact, matter has the information about other existence while That Thing, does not know the existence of the matter, which makes matter more “evolved” in knowledge.

God knows both His parts.
He can clearly see them and control them.

God is The Son, born from the interrelations between the male (Spirit) and the female (Matter)
The Son is who brings together the two parts of the Absolute and fills them with the Understanding (of) “I Am”.
The “I Am” Understanding is not the “I exist” feeling.

“I Am” implies “I Know Who I Am”
“I exist” implies “I feel my existence”

I feel uncomfortable to stop here…
Every thing that I said above is (not) exactly what it is.
Please do not take it as a CONCRETE meaning.
You may get it wrong, and pass it wrong.
Actually you can not get it if you don’t have it!

In the beginning I was amazed, and then the doubt came in my mind: is that truthful experience or it is some kind of illusion? If it comes in my mind isn’t it created by me?

Every question that arose in me was answered.

I was thinking: “What is That thing, which I hear in my meditations?”
The answer came: “I Am before Krassy”
(My brother’s short name is Krassy)

I doubted that I’m going crazy.
The answer came: “(Life) Begets on You”.

I was thinking that perhaps I’m making up all that answers.
The answer came in English language, in one of my meditations:

I said to That (I speak to It only in Bulgarian language): “Now I know the Truth. What must I do?”
The answer came in English: “Implementation!”
That was very clever answer to two of my doubts.
I did not know what the “implementation” word means, which showed me that I don’t make up the answers.
I had to go out of the bed in the mid of the night, wake up my wife and ask her where the English dictionary is.
Since then I’m trying to implement (as best as I can), the Knowledge of the One That I Am.

In the beginning He tested me very hard.
(He knows how to test)

My legal papers in South Africa expired long before all that happened to me.
I was almost two years illegally in the country. So was my family.
I had to go back to Bulgaria and obtain legal work permit for South Africa.
My friends offered me some back-door ways of doing that, but I refused.
I wanted to do it the right way.
After six years in South Africa, I went back to Bulgaria to fix up my documents.
We all knew that it will be very difficult.
The chance to succeed was 1/1000, even less.
My background is musician, and I was applying for carpenter…

After the first month in Bulgaria, the things went bad.
The second month was worst.
The third month erased the hope of everybody except mine.
I knew that I’ll succeed.
On the end of the fifth month I had my work permit.

Those five months in Bulgaria were the most powerful time since the first miracle happened to me.
My meditations were almost like visits in the place of God.
In one of them (I was fasting that time), The First One (so old, that you could not even imagine it) came murmuring to me and kissed me on my lips.
That is the Best gift I have ever had.

* * *

Most of the time in Bulgaria, I spent in my parents apartment, which they bought while I was in South Africa.
It is bachelor flat (one room and kitchen), near to the place, where was the hospital, in which I was born.
One day my mother came and said that she went for blood test, after feeling not very well.
The result was very disturbing.
The doctors said to her that it won’t be easy to get back to the normal.
That night my mom and dad did not go in their house and after the TV movie they decided to sleep in the room and I had to sleep in the kitchen.
This night I decided to meditate with the thought of my mother’s new sickness.
It was strange meditation.
Almost immediately I went in a place which was like laboratory.
There were many flasks, and everything that you can imagine for such a place.
I was standing in front of a table with one flask on top of it in which I could see some strange sediment, which was rather like energy than a matter.

The moment I picked up the flask, I knew that this is my mother energy in there.
I shook it gently and I could see how the deposition at the bottom mixed up with the rest and became a healthy colored mixture.

I put back the flask on the table and I knew that my mother is OK now.

I did not say anything to my parents about this meditation.
Next day I went to visit my brother who stays in other town.
One day later my mom phoned to tell me that she went for second blood test and the doctors were surprised by the fact that the blood was in absolutely normal condition.
My mother was cured.
Even now she does not know this story.

Be like a walker in the field of flowers. Enjoy it.
The only thing you can “choose” is not to step on a flower.

- – -

When I was working for Swiss Joinery, I had one hour lunch time.
Half of that time I used to lie on the lawn next to the workshop, trying to rest from the heavy work.
In that half an hour I started to have something like short dreams (very short), which that time I couldn’t describe as something normal…
Now I know that it was the beginning of my meditations.

The very first one was:

I heard: “The word is not a meaning. It is to reveal the Meaning.”
Then I saw a glass dish. It was suspended in the air. I was moved around it and from the other site I saw that it wasn’t the same glass dish anymore…
It was something like an energy, which did not look like dish at all, but still was giving me the knowledge (feeling) about dish.

Since then I did never use the word as a meaning.
That meditation liberated me from the prison of the words.

I always say to my friends: “Do not put ABSOLUTE meaning in my words. Let them breathe in you.”

Know that every CONCRETE meaning in your understanding is hardening the path to Freedom.

There was even people to ask me:
“Why would God speak to you, but not to me?”
Some of them went even far worst by accusing me that I’m stating inequality between me and the rest of the world… Kind of: I’m better than you.

Man can accept better than him only in professional or business way, or in something that can be learned, trained or granted by talent.
In spiritual way, which man consider as “none given” and internally possessed, there is no better than “myself”.

If you want to experience miracle you MUST know: there is always one better than you in any possible way!
Know that you know not enough.
Believe that out there, there is one who can teach you how to succeed.

Do not chose your teacher!!!

You choose by your own knowledge and you will choose one like you.
You need better than you.

Be open for the Knowledge.
Do not focus, but do not neglect.
Be like predator walking in the midst of the prey.
When you are hungry you will have the best, not the closest one.

Greed is heaviness of mind and body.
Be LIGHT!

Bojko and his wife were (and I suppose that they still are) members of “Seven Days Advent Church”
Seeing me and my wife as reasonable people they probably felt obliged to offer us to join their community.
Of course the conversation did not started with straight proposal?
Usually church people in recruitment start with the glory of God, and how much we must be thankful Him for His care about us and our families. I agree fully with that, but when they come to the point that we must pay Him back in some way, I got tensed.
What could I offer to God!?

“What could I offer Him” – was my question when the conversation came to that point.
The answer was not immediate, but finally I got it, and in general meaning it was: 10% of my salary, keeping Saturday as day of God, and obedience to God.
I learned obedience in the army and that was fine with me. As long as Saturday is fine with my boss Nick that was fine with me too, but I could not imagine how my miserable 10% will help God love me more, and how being more miserable without that 10% I’ll love Him more?

I did not need time for reasoning to tell Bojko that there is something very wrong in their church.
Here everything started…

Every day, every minute when we had time we spoke with Bojko about God and our belief.
That is the time when I started to read the Bible.
I started to read it with the intention to find proof for his deception, and after few attempts I found out that I manage pretty well with this BIG Book.
I was even kind of proud with myself that I can show an intellectual power that can take down a years build church understanding.
At some point I almost manage to show Bojko that God does not need sacrifices but good deeds and love between people. I say “almost”, because the 10% and the Saturday remained unquestionable for him, until one day I found in the Bible:

Romans 14:5 One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.

That helped me a lot in my understanding and I dropped my efforts on that argument, but another one came: “The Only Begotten Son of God”.
By the time I’ve put myself on to this argument I already had my understanding about it. The strange thing was that I found myself convinced that Jesus is not the only begotten, reading the Bible while searching for the previous argument.

That was the Greatest challenge in my life: to prove that the church have no right understanding about Jesus.

I started to search not only in the Bible.
From day to day my dial up Internet connection started to coast me more and more?
I found PC Bible and install it in my computer.
My life shifted so much away from its normal trails that my wife, my children and friends started to look at me in some strange way?
I wasn’t wary.
I felt like this is not one of my “two weeks-hobbies”.
In my deep inner I was sure that I’m doing something right, and I’ll succeed to finish it.
It wasn’t about the argument anymore, but I was terrified by Bojko’s refusal to accept the proofs of the Bible. (All is there)

Every night I was going in the bed with my hope that next day Bojko will understand me.
He have to understand that trying to prove that Jesus is One of many Brothers, I’m not trying to lower Him down but to elevate human’s Hope and human’s nature.

One night I went in the bed with the feeling that there is no hope anymore that Bojko will understand me.
I was going asleep with the question: “Why my God, why he can not accept it?”

“His father hates me” – I heard it so clearly like somebody lying next to me said it.
Yet it wasn’t coming from the room but from inside of me.
Strange that I wasn’t surprised by that voice and I did not even open my eyes.
A short wander waved me for a second and changed with my disappointment of not clear answer.
“Because his father hates me” – second time I heard in myself the voice, and that was too much for me.
I sat in the bed next to my sleeping wife, and I knew the answer.
I knew it not from the words that I heard.
I just knew it.

This is the first miracle happened to me – I got answer from God.

I met Bojko in South Africa.
I didn’t know him from Bulgaria.
I don’t know any of his relatives and parents there, and we did never talk about any of them.

Next day I told him about my revelation.
I told him (and he approved) that his father hates God, and he was also non-believer until he met his wife. Then in the church of his wife for first time he accepted the idea that God exist and His way is the Right way.

From our conversations, although seeing me as a good man he was hearing me as an antichrist, who is trying to bring him back to his father’s way.

Bojko did not reject my explanation, but said that nobody can hear God except His son, and the devil can also reveal truths to the people.

Now Bojko lives in Canada with his wife and children.
Few weeks ago a friend of mine from Toronto said that he met him, and he asked for my telephone number.

I know that Bojko will come to the Truth, because I had another vision, which was also taken by him, as devil seduction.

I’m patient.
I’m very patient.

1) Do not DO.
(Be in the motion without being the motion. Be Observer!)

2) Good attitude about the events in your life.
(Everything – good or “bad” is the best that God prepared for you)

Mentioning the “rules” word I’d like to make it very clear: I don’t follow rules, and I’m against anything that is covered with this word and understanding.

To every rule one guilt is attached and one failure.
Accepting the rule, you accept certain percentage of possibility to fail.

—

Everything in this world is given in your favor!!!

You have friends – they are in your favor.
You have enemies – they are in your Best favor.
Therefore Love your enemies… and use them best.

——–

Rule N3:
Be free of adherence in this world.

——–

Attaching to love, makes the hatred more sensible in you.
Be empty of love.
Be empty of hate.

Impartiality is the True Way.

The world is moved by EROTAS.
(Erotas is the Greek name for “chosen” love.)

Man chooses who to love.
They say that love is blind, but that is not true.
When you say “I love her/him because…”, in the “because” is the choice.
Sometimes you can not describe “because”, but that does not make it absent.

Do not mistake feelings with emotions.
Do not be afraid of your emotions.
Do not oppress them, but learn to control them.

love is not Love.
Erotas is love that points to one.
Agape is Love pointed to everyone.

Everything in this world is boundary and your feelings are such too.
What you like is not helping you more than what you don’t like.

You like only what you know,
but you know what you have.
What you have now does not help you make miracles,
which comes to show that what you like is useless.
Therefore detach from your knowledge, feelings, “like” and “don’t like”.

Brake the boundaries.

Do not point yourself to anything and you will be Love.

Love is out of rules.
Love does not follow the rules, because Love does not do anything wrong.
Love is the only Freedom.

Coming to this point we can change rule N3 from: “Be free of adherence in this world!”
to: Be Love!