Preparing Lessons

As I wrote in my first postings, before I had my first miracle I already was prepared for it.
The life showed me that there is something that I don’t know and that I must search for.
Well… I did not put myself immediately in the search, but no one can escape from himself.
I already stated that the first miracle happened to me, was the word(s), that I heard from God, but long before that, in Bulgaria I had many miracles that I put on the shelf of the supernatural mystic experience that could happen to anyone.

When the life is putting someone on the trail of the Work, all the proofs and explanations are given in advance in a very clear way.
One must not meet the miracle unprepared.
Therefore he/she must know what illusion is, what self-hypnosis is, what dead and life are…

I was about twenty seven years young man when I showed some interest in the hypnosis.
A small book appeared in my library from somewhere and the title “The Hypnosis” was that much hypnotizing that one day I opened the book and few ours later I finished reading it.
The explanations in the book ware so well put, that I could not resist trying some of the stuff…
My son was about four years old boy, but his thinking and understanding was indescribably advanced (and still is)
One day he came to me and told me that some times he has some strange feeling of fear wave. He knew that there is no reason for the fear but still could not get rid of it.

Then I decided to try the hypnosis.
I asked him to lie on the bed, and I just did one of the hypnosis techniques from the book.
I knew that it is dangerous to do it, but I was so confident in myself that nothing could stop me doing it.
And I did it.
Since then my son never had that “fear wave”.
That was my first and last time to use hypnosis.
But it made me to know the difference between intentionally done (by my own will), fully dependant on me action, and internally expressed will which is dependant on my Faith in God on whom I’m dependant.

Self hypnosis is easy, and most of the people are living under it.

Hallucination, Dead, Life… All that I had as a lesson in one long (in time) trip from Germany to Bulgaria.

I went to Germany to buy second hand car and sell it in Bulgaria for profit.
Three weeks I could not find decent car.
It was Friday – one day before my visa expiration.
A man came to visit the family (also Bulgarians) where I was staying.
I don’t speak German but somehow we started conversation and he asked me what I am doing in Germany.
I told him and expressed my disappointment that I could not find car.
With all the funny misunderstandings and hand signs he took me to his beautiful BMW and asked me whether I like it.
Oh, that was my dream…
“You can have it for 2000 DM” – he said and that almost made me sit on the ground…
But the transfer papers could not be done before Monday, and to stay with expired visa in Germany is not recommended.
It could become your last entry in this country.
I had no other choice.
Monday I arrived on the border with the son of the family that I was visiting.
The young man came to help me if I have problem with the frontier officers.
Of course I had…
My friend explained that I had problem fixing the papers for the car, but that wasn’t an excuse.
The officer turned to me and asked me in Russian language how much money I have.
I was prepared for such a question and in my right-hand pocket I had some small amount of money. The rest was in my left-hand pocket.
So I put my hand in my pocket and suddenly I found myself with both my hands stretched, holding all my money.
I was surprised by myself and so were my friend and the officer…
The officer looked in my eyes and I saw how he changed his decision.
He put all the money between us and asked me how much petrol I have in the car tank. It was full. He calculated how much money I will need for petrol to arrive home, and put them in front of me.
Then he put money for hotel, for food, for custom taxes, for presents for my wife and children (he asked me how many I have), and at the end of the calculation there was about 150 DM left. The fine was 250 DM or 20 days (I’m not sure about the days) prison.
The officer wrote a fine thicket for 150 DM and let me go.
I have heard many stories about German’s coldness but that man made me feel so warm and secure in his presence, that since then “German” for me sounds like “good”, “honest”, “gentleman”, “respect”, “value”, “Love”.

And then my adventure started…

In Hungary a big truck hit the BMW at the back, it flew some twenty meters and landed almost in the middle of the intersection.
The police was behind the truck and the immediate alcohol check of the driver was positive.
When the police came to me, they were surprised that I wasn’t injured and the BMW was in absolute good condition without any damages (the truck was more damaged than the car…)
I had to stay in the town for more than five hours and give testaments about the incident.
Then I had to drive in Rumania during the night through all their mountains, which roads are not the best thing to experience.
I got to the border with Serbia to find out that they wouldn’t let me go through without visa. I had to take the other way and drive some few hundred kilometers on the worst roads I have ever seen.
One of them was like after bombing…
The BMW started to have some strange sound on the right-hand front wheel.
I looked at the road in front of me and it was straight and log without any car on it.
I was dodging around the wholes with no avail – the best I could do is to choose the smallest whole.
The sound on the right-hand wheel was disturbing me.
I bend on the right to hear it better.
Then I bend a little more, and again until I was lying on the passenger front sit.
I kept trying to find out what exactly is that noise, and in one moment I realized that the car is not bumping in to the wholes. It was driving smoothly like it was floating in the air. In the next moment I heard car hooting and I took normal driving position. The moment I put my eyes on the road the bumping returned.
I looked at the back mirror to find out that few cars already have passed by me…
I started to laugh imagining the faces of the drivers when they met car without driver in it.

I was tired. I was very tired…
I was driving without sleep and rest for more than fifty hours.
OK, it wasn’t driving all the time, but I had to wait and give testaments in Hungary, then I had to wait on the border on a long queue, then wait on the Serbian border to tell me that I can not pass, then drive few hundred kilometers more, and to end on a few kilometers long queue on the Bulgarian border…
Few more hours and I was breathing Bulgarian air.
It was after midnight and I was so tired that I started to talk to myself trying to stay awake. It worked.
So I was talking and even singing to myself and driving in the night.
From time to time I would open the window and take my head out in the freeze air.

Slightly I started to realize that there is something strange in my perception of the landscape. I knew it very well, but it was looking different to me.
I tried to understand what the difference is but I could not find any explanation.
It was the same landscape, yet it was different.
Suddenly a tree appeared right in front of me in the middle of the road, growing fast like in animation movie.
I put my foot on the brakes and stopped.
My mind was laughing at me:
“Why do you stop, stupid monkey? How could you believe that there is tree on the middle of the road?”
Of course there wasn’t tree…
It was hallucination, and I knew it, but my instincts did not want to trust my mind.
After few more kilometers another tree wanted to do the same trick, but that time I could stop the growing and didn’t even brake… to much 🙂
Then I went in to road where there were walnut trees on side of the road, and another terrible hallucination came: the trees started to stretch their branches to me like hands that want to grab me.
Although I knew that it is another hallucination the feeling wasn’t pleasant…
Then suddenly I pulled left across the middle road line and stopped on a small wide place on the other side of the road.
The lights on my town were about two kilometers in front of me, but I could not drive more.
I decided to have some sleep.
I was on the end of my strength.

I pulled back the sit and made it comfortable to lie.
I closed my eyes and I saw my face…
Yes I was looking at my face.
I could see it; tired, dirty with no blood in it, almost yellow face.
I could not see life in my face.
It was face of a dead man.
Then I started to get away from it, went trough the car sealing, and slowly started to go up.
I could still see myself trough the top of the car, lying on the sit.
It was so freeing feeling…
I knew that I’m leaving my body and I’m going somewhere…
Where? – I did not know.
I knew that the body in the car is mine, but already dead, and that wasn’t big deal… until something made me fill that I’m still not ready to do it.
I don’t know how to explain that feeling of “not ready”, and may be the closest explanation is “Unfinished business”.
That thought produced something like vacuum, which almost with the speed of the light sucked me back in to my body.
I opened my eyes, and only then I felt a little scared.
Then I started to think of flowers.
I said to myself “snowdrop” and I imagined the flower, then another flower, then another, until I fell asleep.
Two hours later I waked up and went home.

Although that BMW was one of the best cars on the second hand car market in my town, I could not sell it until I decided to leave Bulgaria and go to South Africa.