First Answers

Lying on the lawn during my lunch time, I had my first sparks of Truth.

In the beginning I was amazed, and then the doubt came in my mind: is that truthful experience or it is some kind of illusion? If it comes in my mind isn’t it created by me?

Every question that arose in me was answered.

I was thinking: “What is That thing, which I hear in my meditations?”
The answer came: “I Am before Krassy”
(My brother’s short name is Krassy)

I doubted that I’m going crazy.
The answer came: “(Life) Begets on You”.

I was thinking that perhaps I’m making up all that answers.
The answer came in English language, in one of my meditations:

I said to That (I speak to It only in Bulgarian language): “Now I know the Truth. What must I do?”
The answer came in English: “Implementation!”
That was very clever answer to two of my doubts.
I did not know what the “implementation” word means, which showed me that I don’t make up the answers.
I had to go out of the bed in the mid of the night, wake up my wife and ask her where the English dictionary is.
Since then I’m trying to implement (as best as I can), the Knowledge of the One That I Am.

In the beginning He tested me very hard.
(He knows how to test)

My legal papers in South Africa expired long before all that happened to me.
I was almost two years illegally in the country. So was my family.
I had to go back to Bulgaria and obtain legal work permit for South Africa.
My friends offered me some back-door ways of doing that, but I refused.
I wanted to do it the right way.
After six years in South Africa, I went back to Bulgaria to fix up my documents.
We all knew that it will be very difficult.
The chance to succeed was 1/1000, even less.
My background is musician, and I was applying for carpenter…

After the first month in Bulgaria, the things went bad.
The second month was worst.
The third month erased the hope of everybody except mine.
I knew that I’ll succeed.
On the end of the fifth month I had my work permit.

Those five months in Bulgaria were the most powerful time since the first miracle happened to me.
My meditations were almost like visits in the place of God.
In one of them (I was fasting that time), The First One (so old, that you could not even imagine it) came murmuring to me and kissed me on my lips.
That is the Best gift I have ever had.

* * *

Most of the time in Bulgaria, I spent in my parents apartment, which they bought while I was in South Africa.
It is bachelor flat (one room and kitchen), near to the place, where was the hospital, in which I was born.
One day my mother came and said that she went for blood test, after feeling not very well.
The result was very disturbing.
The doctors said to her that it won’t be easy to get back to the normal.
That night my mom and dad did not go in their house and after the TV movie they decided to sleep in the room and I had to sleep in the kitchen.
This night I decided to meditate with the thought of my mother’s new sickness.
It was strange meditation.
Almost immediately I went in a place which was like laboratory.
There were many flasks, and everything that you can imagine for such a place.
I was standing in front of a table with one flask on top of it in which I could see some strange sediment, which was rather like energy than a matter.

The moment I picked up the flask, I knew that this is my mother energy in there.
I shook it gently and I could see how the deposition at the bottom mixed up with the rest and became a healthy colored mixture.

I put back the flask on the table and I knew that my mother is OK now.

I did not say anything to my parents about this meditation.
Next day I went to visit my brother who stays in other town.
One day later my mom phoned to tell me that she went for second blood test and the doctors were surprised by the fact that the blood was in absolutely normal condition.
My mother was cured.
Even now she does not know this story.